At the beginning of the pandemic, I worried that people would freak out. I thought we would all need new kinds of support and special self-care. But that’s not what I’m seeing. Turns out that the first principal of coaching really is true: “People are naturally creative, resourceful, and whole.”
On social media, I see people doing amazing things to reach out to each other. They check in with each other and offer help when possible. People are sharing tips and resources and support in unprecedented ways. They’re creating on-line networks of support – like the “My Friends Do Awesome Things – Let’s Learn from Them” page. Membership rapidly grew to 2500 users who offer opportunities to learn everything from languages, ballet, and quilting to how to install a bidet.
In my coaching practice, people continue to work toward their goals. Ok, the circumstances around them are different. They may have to accommodate trying to work from home, home-schooling kids, self-isolation, or risking their well-being to provide essential services. But they continue to move steadfastly toward their goals.
I don’t mean things are smooth or necessarily pleasant. These are challenging times, (isn’t that a nice understatement) and I imagine most of us are riding an emotional roller coaster at times. Last night, I had a moment of sadness/rage that came with an urge to knock over furniture and yell “Fuck” loudly. I do not usually feel that way. But, just like waves in the ocean, the feeling rose up and passed.
I’m not saying that we aren’t having a hard time. Good grief, of course we are. And I’m not saying that we’re all coping beautifully all the time. Some of us are still in denial. Some of us feel overwhelmed with grief. But in these times, it is OK to not be OK. We can re-define what “I’m OK” means.
One thing that’s been helpful for me is carving out the time and (mental) space to breathe and center myself. Of course, that’s not new, I always need that time and space. Sometimes, in that space, I think I can faintly discern some of the pathway in front of me.
What has been most helpful for you? What do you need right now?
It sounds a bit circular, but working on my blog has been hugely important to me. It started before the virus came. When I retired, I was suddenly faced with this enormous emptiness. I had let my old blog lapse and go away (long story) and I realized that I missed it and leased a new site on WordPress.com. I have written more in the last six months than I have in years. I’m even doing graphic art again, something I burned out on years ago when I did it for a living. When the quarantine set it, I had something set up that was meaningful for me to do. Blogs on WordPress.com have built in social in the form of the Reader and its notification system, so I found to my delight that I was developing a new supportive community of creative people who care about the things I care about. It has been both fun and a life saver.
That makes so much sense, Syd. I’ve been following your blog for a while now and really enjoying the content. I can see why that’s a big support for you – particularly with comments. I love comments – so thank you for reading and for sharing your thoughts!